It’s good to be nice to people. But it’s never good to be so “nice” to people that you allow them to mistreat or disrespect you.
If you, like me, are the type to always say “yes” to everybody, if you’re a people pleaser, if you’re the kind that is terrified of even the slightest form of confrontation, then you may find yourself being an easy target for people’s mistreatment. A lot of people might mistake your kindness for weakness and your calmness for acceptance.
They say people will always do to you what you allow them to. If you always let people speak to you in a disrespectful way, if you allow them to curse you out, if you let them make fun of you as they like or ignore you whenever “they don’t have time,” then they will most likely just continue to do these things. If you let people step all over you as if you’re a welcome mat, then that’s what they will keep doing.
Pay attention to the way people treat you. If there is any hint of disrespect in the way they speak to you, if you see they don’t show you as much respect as they show others, then you should ask yourself what you have been doing to make them think that it’s okay to mistreat you.
There is a way to be nice to people, while at the same time showing that you expect a certain amount of respect from them. There is a way to set limits and boundaries for people without necessarily being a jerk. The best way to do this, I think, is to simply be direct and stern with people. Don’t beat about the bush or go on about how they hurt your feelings with how they act. Simply tell them what they should do and what they should not do when they interact with you. Let them know what’s okay and what you consider rude or disrespectful.
If you don’t like the way your friend ignores your texts, don’t stay quiet about it and make her think all is well. Go up to her and say sternly, “Hey. You should reply to texts. It’s rude not to.”
If you don’t like the way someone always calls you a bi*ch or a motherf**ker, just tell them, “Hey, you should call me by my name. I hate being cursed at. It’s disrespectful.”
If someone always makes fun of the way you look, don’t just laugh it off or stay silent. Tell them directly, “Hey. Don’t make fun of my <insert what they always pick on here>. It’s rude and disrespectful. I hate it.”
You should love yourself too much to let people mistreat you. You deserve to be treated with due respect and if someone doesn’t want to subscribe to that, then feel free to cut them out of your life. You’re not a mat. Don’t let people step all over you.
And as always,
Cheers to life!
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