The Frightening A-Word: How To Deal With It

We have all felt it at some point in our lives: Something is going to happen to you soon. You’re going to have to do something difficult and you don’t know whether you will succeed or fail. But for now, all you can do is just sit and wait, stress and wait, toss and turn and wait. You’re going through that A-word experience that can make it seem as if time stood still just to make you suffer. You’re going through anticipation.

 

A little bit of it can help sometimes: If you stress a little about the marathon you have to run soon, you’ll release the hormones than make you perform better. But there are times that we become so stressed with anticipation about the challenges we’re going to face that we become completely paralyzed. So we decide to procrastinate on our responsibilities, and at times we even decide to quit altogether.

 

Cartoon of Man Standing Next To A Tree and Waiting, The A-Word, Anticipation

 

You can’t stop thinking about how difficult your next assignment will be so you put it off until right before the deadline. You’re so stressed about how difficult your next gym session will be, so you decide to not show up at all. You’re so worried about how difficult it will be to keep a spouse at your side and to raise an entire family so you decide to remain single for the rest of your life.

 

Certainly, there are many times in our lives where a tip or two on dealing with the distress of anticipation can go a long way. So how can you learn to conquer this horrid A-word?

 

I believe part of the answer is practice, mental practice to be specific. The reason we’re often so stressed about future challenges is because we’re not sure of what exactly will happen and how we will personally handle it. You have to soon give a speech and you’re wondering, “Will I be able to say all the words smoothly? Will I stutter? Will I freeze? Will I forget all I have to say?” And because you’re so uncertain of what will happen, you wind yourself up into a ball of nerves.

 

At times like that, it’s wise to take a deep breath and to try and mentally imagine in detail the best version of what is going to happen, and to mentally practice how you will act at each stage of the process. Then, you have to go ahead and imagine the worst thing that could happen, and prepare yourself for how you will act in that situation as well. And with that balanced and realistic mental preparation, you reduce your level of uncertainty.

 

In the example of the speech, you might say, “Okay, I will walk up to the podium, I will smile at the audience, I will greet them, I will pause and make eye-contact with them for three seconds, then I will start my the speech that I have memorized and I will occasionally look at my notes to refresh my memory. And I will go through the entire speech in this smooth tone until I reach the end. But I will be calm throughout and make my audience have a good time.” Then you go ahead to think of the kind of obstacles that may get in your way, “If I happen to forget my words at any point, I will just recap on what I have already said but in different words and in a different tone, as I try to remember where I was. If I stutter or mispronounce my words, I will just make a joke out it.” And with practice like that, you may feel much better about your near future.

 

You can do this type of mental practice in different ways with any challenge that is stressing you out, whether it’s a marathon or a family. In addition to reducing the stress of anticipation, mentally preparing yourself for what will happen will motivate you to actually start doing whatever it is you have to do. That’s because we as humans always try to make our mental world similar to our physical world. So thinking about what you have to do will make you want to have it happen already just as you picture it in your mind and you might go ahead and do it confidently. Always try to focus on the best version of what could happen, and that version will be more likely to be the one that takes place and to make you feel calmer about the future.

 

With all that said, you must remember in whatever challenge you face to make two very important promises to yourself: That you will always do your best, and that you will always be yourself. And if you can trust yourself to do both of those things, then you need not worry about how your challenges will turn out, because things will always turn out fine.

 

And as always, cheers to life!

Quote on Mental Preparation, The A-Word, Anticipation


Related Posts

Make Sure You’re Not In A Box

Make Sure You’re Not In A Box

We all have imaginary cages that we put ourselves into. Some of them are tiny, and some of them have a little more room in them, but they’re all made up of our self-definitions. We put ourselves in boxes based on who we think we […]

The Forbidden Apple: How To Avoid Eating It

The Forbidden Apple: How To Avoid Eating It

Have you noticed that whenever you tell yourself not to do something, that’s when you suddenly really want to do it? “I shouldn’t eat that cookie” and suddenly the cookie is the only thing that seems to matter in life and you just can’t stop […]



11 thoughts on “The Frightening A-Word: How To Deal With It”

  • being mentally strong is so important to survival, no matter the event… I have had many challenges in my life that I needed to mentally prepare myself for, and it saved my life! great post topic, keep on writing! try not to stress, just do your best in the present time, that’s good enough!

  • I have never considered anticipation as being a horrible thing. It is what it is and yes, it does occur in everyone’s life from time to time. You deal with it and move on. 🙂

    • I guess sometimes it can be a positive thing sometimes. But for the times when it prevents us from living our best, we should know how to deal with it. Thanks for reading Kat!

  • This post was really inspiring and motivating, I couldn’t agree more. Being mentally prepared has so much to do about being ourselves and do our best. That’s what matters most in the end.

  • this is such a powerful post! I’m totally guilty of all of this. i always feel better once i’ve prepared mentally even a little bit. I’m the world’s biggest worrier and also procrastinator too.

  • I completely agree with this article ! Anticipation can be associated to the fear of failure ! And it sucks.According to me the best way to fight it is by remaining positive just as you said. Also be confident ans stop thinking too much about it . Good article

  • I think that is how the most successful people become great is by being mentally strong! I know it helps me to be prepared for what I need and how I am going to accomplish that!

  • I have suffered from social anxiety, and I think this is a great post. You do have to change your thinking from thinking about the worst that can happen, and instead imagining something great. That can turn your attitude from one of worry to one of excitement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *