How To Deal With People Changing

We want our surroundings to stay stable and predictable. We want the people in our lives to stay the way we have come to know and love or hate them. But people do change…And it can be confusing and painful to see them change.

When someone you love changes, you may feel like you’re losing them, because you don’t know them anymore. And when someone you hate changes, you may find yourself confused as to whether or not you should continue to hate them.

Girl shocked at changed boy, cartoon
So how can we make this easier?

Remember to never┬ástop loving someone when they change negatively. When someone you love starts practicing bad habits or neglecting good values, keep showing them that you care and that you do not suddenly detest them because of who they are becoming. Even if you hate what they do, don’t hate them.

A lot of times, your love will be the chain that connects them to the better past. Your love may be what helps them to slow down their downhill momentum. It can be what helps them go back to their old better ways. If you love someone despite their less than perfect behavior, they may feel convicted by your love, and they may want to live up to it by becoming their better selves.

And if it does happen that your loved one changes back to his or her better ways after attempting to step off track, your relationship will be even stronger if they know you kept loving them even when they were at their worst point. They will know that your love is strong enough to beat even their own shortcomings.

It may also happen that someone that you love changes, but not necessarily for the worst. You may still feel like you’re losing them, because you aren’t sure who they are anymore. You may feel confused as to whether or not to keep loving them as you did before. In these cases, you need to just give yourself time to get used to the change. Don’t make decisions and conclusions too quickly. Don’t feel pressured to decide too soon whether or not they deserve your love.

Let time help you understand who the person has become. And you may find that they didn’t change that much after all. Or you may find that you actually like the new versions of them.

And how should you deal with someone that you hate changing for the better and becoming likable? If you have settled on hating someone, you want to keep having a reason to hate them. And when they redeem their ways, they rob you of that reason.

Just remember that you don’t have to hold on to the bitterness. It’s okay to stop disliking someone. People can change their bad ways and become deserving of your love. You should allow them that chance, allow them to redeem themselves. You don’t have to be what prevents them from becoming better.

And as always, cheers to life!

Them Changing

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